Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Positive Ways to Overcome Interactions With Toxic People

When you have to deal with people so toxic you need a gas mask...
I have another site, Intrinsic Vicissitude, where I write a lot about interacting positively with toxic people. I guess because that's a recurring theme in my life. I decided to drop a short piece about finding a positive way to interact with toxic people here today, because dealing with emotional toxicity can be such a powerful trigger for overeating, and for the kind of depression that leaves you emotionally paralyzed and physically unhealthy.

Examples of Toxic Family Members


When the person who 'messes you up' emotionally (Mom or Dad!) is also one who claims to love you most, it's one of the most emotionally paralyzing things you can ever have to deal with - but you can deal with it. It just takes some work, and you have to kind of 'step outside of yourself' and look at that person with compassion instead of rage. (I know - it isn't easy - believe me, I know.)


Spouses also have a huge negative impact on your psyche if you get a toxic one. After all, who has more influence on your life than the person you interact with daily and you depend on, or should be able to depend on, as a partner in life.


Kids, are even able to be a toxic influence in your life, more as they grow older and pick up the behaviors of the negative people around you.


Really, any family member you care about has the potential to be the 'bringer of psychological toxins' - and it falls to you to learn how to build a protective shield around your psyche. The problem is - that's not an easy thing to do. 



Strategies to Help You Deal With Toxic People

  • Give yourself something positive to hold onto.
    • Focus on it for a few minutes every day - multiple times a day if you interact with toxic people a lot.
    • Find things you love about yourself or your life - this can be things you've done, your faith in a higher power, charity work you help with, being a good cook, being organized - anything that makes you feel positive. 
    • Write it on a little paper, or take a picture, so you can look at it any time you need a boost after dealing with the toxic person in your life.
  • Get a simple talisman to wear.
    • This can be a ring, a key ring, a piece of jewelry like a brooch or necklace, anything really. 
    • Focus on your 'positive thing' while holding the talisman, and let it represent that positive thing in your mind. 
    • Wear or take this talisman everywhere, and any time you are dealing with your toxic person, touch the talisman as a reminder that this person is nothing - that they have no power to control your emotions - because you claimed your own power and it is in your fingertips to use.
  • Practice compassion.
    • Normal, emotionally healthy people do NOT go around destroying other people - so if someone is being toxic to you - it is because they are not emotionally healthy.
    • They deserve your pity, not vice versa.
    • So, even if that person gets you upset and even enraged, try to focus on the fact that this person who is trying to hurt you emotionally is acting from a place of fear and pain.
  • Don't engage in the toxicity.
    • When you catch yourself reacting to another person's negativity, don't talk louder.
    • Don't argue with them.
    • Your negative reaction to their emotional abuse - and that's exactly what it is - emotional abuse - is what they feed off of - simply end the discussion, or smile sweetly and change the subject. 
  • Find some non-toxic people to be part of your life.
    • Not everyone sucks.
    • If you're surrounded by toxic people, give yourself permission to go somewhere positive people hang out. This can be church, or somewhere you can volunteer to do charity work.
  • Accept the unconditional love of a pet.
    • If you aren't able to have a pet where you live, or you don't have time for a full-time pet, you can always volunteer at an animal shelter to get your fix of unconditional love from a pet.
  • Write it out.
    • Write a letter to the toxic person, detailing how they make you feel and how angry it makes you - cuss - rant - rage - let it all out. 
    • Do NOT send it.
    • The toxic person does NOT deserve to know how you feel and they would just "feed" off of it anyway.
    • These are your words and thoughts about how you've been treated, and once you write them down, they are out of your heart and you have the choice to let them go so they are not - or do not have to be - part of your existence any longer.
    • I personally burn these letters in the fireplace after I write them, and picture the smoke floating into the sky carrying the hurt and anger away. (It's a little cheesy, but it works.)

Positivity Versus Toxicity

The most important thing is that you find positive ways to deal with the toxicity other people throw at you. It isn't an easy thing to do, overcoming the toxic behavior of other people, but it can be done, and most important - you can do it. Don't let someone else's negativity ruin your day - or worse yet -your life. Own the good things about yourself, and if you screw up, like every human being on the planet does occasionally, own it and move on. 

Someone else's opinion about you is just that, THEIR opinion - and honestly - if it's negative - it has more to do with how that person feels about themselves than it does with you. So, Mom, thank you for telling me four times yesterday that I'm stupid. Stupid? I went to college, worked hard, earned a degree and extra certifications, and graduated WITH HONORS - I'm not stupid! But - - It's good to know how you feel about yourself, Mom, but give yourself a break, you may be mean, but you aren't stupid, either.







Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Calculating the Nutrition Info in a Recipe

Calculating the nutrition info in a recipe can be  a lot of work if you do it by hand. Tonight, I found some apps that figure out the numbers for you. I tested out the one on SparkPeople, because everything else I've tried on that site has been so great and easy to use.

Calculating the Nutrition info in a Recipe image courtesy of Pixabay

My Experience With the SparkRecpes Nutrition Info Calculator


I made a chicken and broccoli stir fry for dinner, (not the one shown above, mine didn't turn out that pretty) and I was sitting down to enter the nutrition info for each separate item, it occurred to me to look for something that would let me enter the whole recipe and then break it down into serving seizes. I found several apps that looked good, but SparkPeople came through for me again, with SparkRecipes.

I entered everything I had thrown in the pan. Then I hit "Calculate". In about 2 seconds I was looking at an extremely detailed nutrition info label that was easy to read. But, I had forgotten an ingredient. So, I went back, thinking I would have to start over, but nope, everything was still there. What a time saver!!

Calculating Nutrition Info By Hand


To calculate the nutrition info in a recipe when you don't have an app available, grab a piece of paper and a pen.
  • Write the calories for each ingredient, then each other piece of nutrition info you track, like carbs, proteins, and fats.
  • Add up the calories, and other info types.
  • Divide each total by the number of servings.
Okay, it's only 3 steps, but when you add in the fact that you're doing it for every detail you want to track, it can get pretty time consuming. Using an app that calculates your recipe's nutrition info for you just makes it so easy and fast. 


Thanks for reading, and be sure to share your experience with nutrition info calculators and which one you like best. Oh, and if you're interested, join us on Facebook for updates and other info shared on the F&C page.


When Do You Like to Exercise?

I've always enjoyed exercising, but when I gained weight, it got harder and harder with each few pounds and I stopped. It was a vicious cycle, because without the active lifestyle, the weight kept coming, and with the weight building up on my body, it got harder to exercise.

When Do You Like to Exercise? image courtesy of Pixabay


Bedtime Exercise Routines?


So, lately, I've been exercising every day, making a point of it, and most days I end up squeezing in a workout right before bed because I forget to do it when I'm working. (And, as a copywriter, I live a very sedentary lifestyle.)

Logically, I know that's not the ideal because it can interfere with sleep. Plus, it would be very easy to forget and just go back to slacking off because, well, at the end of the day I'm tired. (Who isn't?)

Morning Workouts?


Today, I was logging my breakfast on SparkPeople, because I find their app easy to use and I helps me to see the details of what I've eaten. Plus, I love the little charts they provide that make it even easier to see how I'm doing.

Seated Dumbbell Workout


So anyway, while I was recording what I had eaten, I noticed a link to SparkTV. I clicked it and it was a bunch of free to watch exercise videos! I picked out a 9-minute seated dumbbell workout first and used my 3-pound weights. It was great and I got a surprisingly good burn in my upper body muscles, abs, and arms.

Seated Cardio Workout


I was having fun at that point, so I picked an 11-minute seated cardio workout with the same instructor. I had my doubts when I picked it but figured it was worth a try. It was great! And, surprisingly intense, though the instructor did explain how to increase or lower the intensity by adapting the movements.

So, now it's still morning, and I've completed a task I normally put off till the end of the day, and I feel great about it. That leaves me wondering; when do other people enjoy working out?

emoticon I would love to hear how everyone else fits in their workout and if you get the same positive feelings after finishing a good workout!

Feel free to share in the comments, browse around the site for more information, and be sure to join us on the Facebook F&C page.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

My Introduction to the Keto Diet

A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine told me about the Keto diet, or more appropriately, the keto WOE (way of eating) and I was beyond curious when she told me she had lost 53 pounds so far this year. (I mean, the year's only a little over halfway over and that's a lot of weight to lose fast.)

Keto Diet image courtesy of Pixabay

I have been struggling with my weight for pretty much my whole adult life - and the older I got - the more I struggled with it. I've tried diets, lots of them. Some sensible, some crazy as all get out. Some work for me.... for a while.... but then the pounds come back and bring friends - meaning more pounds.

Learn About the Keto Diet

I was excited to try this new diet that my friend is having such amazing results with, but first, I wanted to make sure it would be safe. So, I started researching it, and I found a lot of amazing and confusing information.
As noted by Daily Health Post, the ketogenic diet was originally developed by the Mayo Clinic in 1924. It was originally created to help reduce the seizures experienced by epileptic patients. The dramatic weight loss the keto way of eating produced was discovered as an unexpected result. 
The diet is described by physicians at the Mayo Clinic as causing the body to produce ketones. Ketones force your body to burn fat as fuel instead of glucose. Glucose is what your body produces when you eat carbs, cutting carbs and making healthy fats available in your body makes your body produce ketones, or a state of ketosis, so, you're body learns to burn fat instead of carbs.

There are also a lot of other health claims about this diet (as of August 2017) such as it helps keep cancer in check, it helps control diabetes, and several other things. I can't really speak to those claims, because I'm just a person researching and trying a new diet, and I want to tell you about it because I'm impressed with what I see so far.

The Ketogenic Diet vs. Traditional Diet Thinking


I really can't describe how confused I was when I first started reading about ketosis. The ketogenic diet is basically high fat, moderate protein and low carb. What? High fat to lose weight? I've heard about high protein/low fat dieting, and I've seen the results.

Like keto, dramatic results in weight loss, BUT, as soon as the diet ends, and you go back to your old way of eating, the weight comes back fast, with more (just like I mentioned earlier - but  no - I never tried the high protein/low carb diet. I just saw some friends try that one.)

I think that rebound effect also would apply to the ketogenic way of eating, and that's probably why it's not typically described by most people trying it as a diet anymore, so much as a lifestyle change.

I would suggest that anyone who wants to try the ketogenic diet talk to their doctor, or physical trainer, and do plenty of research just to be safe. Everyone's body is different, so the diet that's perfect for one person may bring disastrous results to someone else.

The Evolution of the Keto Diet


The original version of the ketogenic diet developed by the Mayo Clinic had patients consume:
  • 75 percent of daily calories from fat
  • 20 percent of calories from protein
  • 5 percent of calories each day from carbohydrates
More modern versions of this way of eating as a weight loss program have lowered the fat intake a bit and slightly raised the protein and carb intake allowances to:
  • 40 percent fat
  • 30 percent protein
  • 30 percent carbs
For the version I'm trying, I don't actually even look at the percentages, I look at the grams of carbs I eat each day. My ideal goal is 20 grams of carbs or less per day, with up to 50 being acceptable. If I stick to clean carbs, like fresh vegetables, this isn't to hard to manage.

No Deprivation and Dirty Keto


I want to admit now that I don't do well with diets that are based on deprivation. I'm not a person who is going to thrive on a diet that leaves me hungry all the time. With this way of eating, you're not hungry all the time because the fat makes you feel full. You do end up lowering your overall calorie intake, but it's because you're not hungry all the time. Compare that to a carb-rich diet, where you are likely to be hungry all the time, for huge quantities of food.

The low carb availability drastically limits fruit, which I love, so at some point, I plan to adapt my keto way of eating to allow for more fruit. For me, that may mean switching to a paleo version of the diet, or simply going "dirty keto" to allow for my love of fruit.

My Experience With 9 Days on the Keto Diet


So, I've told you a bit about what I found in researching the ketogenic diet, but I haven't shared me experience so far. 

(I use the SparkPeople trackers to record my information, because it's so user-friendly. The nutrition entry doesn't seem to adapt for the keto diet, but I use it to record my dietary intake and refer to the chart it provides at the bottom of the page to get an idea how I'm doing as far as keto eating.)

Day 9: Out of the eight days I've completed, I actually only hit the 20 grams of carbs or less I was trying for once (It's amazingly hard to cut carbs that low, at first anyway.) Even with not doing the diet perfectly, as of this morning, the start of my 9th day, I have dropped 9 pounds. I've also lost 1/4-inch on my waist, 1-3/4 inches on my hips, 2 inches on my right thigh, and 1-inch on my upper right arm. (I didn't track the left side because the app didn't give me a spot to do that.) 

I've always heard that losing weight too fast is a bad thing, but I feel better already. My previous daily bouts of acid reflux have not flared up one single time in the days I've been doing keto. I've also been sleeping better and I'm not having the aches and pains (hip/knees) I did before. I have to admit I was pretty cranky the first 2 days, but once my body adapted to the new way of eating, my mood improved and it's, well, pretty great.

Motivating Weight Loss Numbers


Seeing the numbers go down on the scale and feeling my clothes get looser are also highly motivating things. I can hardly wait to start really experimenting with keto recipes so I can tell you a bit more about the keto diet, and share some ways to make it easy to get started if you're interested and your doc approves the diet for you.

By Laure Justice

Thanks for reading, and be sure to share your thoughts and questions about the keto diet in the comments, and join us on the F&C Facebook page to see updates on this information and new recipes.